Dawn Neesom: Thank God Love Island is back next week


And, oh my, the diversity, inclusiveness and box-ticking madness that this series promises to be.

Pretty much every colour, creed, religion and social background is covered.

I mean they’ve even included a plus sized person!

What, wait, she’s a size 10? Ooh, fat cow or what…

The girl in question is one Anna Vakili, 28, left, from London.

The show is keen to parade her brains as a pharmacist with a Masters degree.

Yeah, whatever.

She’s also got magnificent breasts and a pout modelled on a sink plunger.

Plus she has 39,400 Instagram followers where she regularly discusses atomic and molecular medicine.

Sorry, my mistake.

Caroline Flack

LOVE ISLAND 2019: Caroline Flack is back (Pic: ITV2)

What she actually does is post endless, semi-naked photos in cheese wire thongs that must make her eyes water –

because that’s roughly how high cut they are.

She’s been dubbed the British Kim Kardashian but comes across more Dim Karcrashian.

“Curvy” Anna aside the other Love Islanders are one size fits all.

Provided it’s a six – dress sizes for the babes and ab count for the boys.

The other scientist in the house is Irish lass Yewande, 23.

Love Island

Love Island (Pic: ITV2)

She has a degree in biotechnology and a Masters in pharmaceutical quality assurance.

She says people are shocked when she tells them what she does.

Possibly because none of us actually have a clue what it means.

Still, at least we’d have a punt at pronouncing her name correctly.

Unlike one of her potential suitors in episode one who declares he’s going to call her Wendy.

Safe to say that’s not a meeting of minds.

Try not to be too stressed about feeling stupid though.

Tom Fury

HEAVY WEIGHT: Tom Fury is Tyson Fury’s brother (Pic: ITV2)

Love Island have made sure there’s the ubiquitous beauty therapist, flight attendant, gym bunny and fireman.

And this being “reality” TV the producers are also ensuring it’s down with the viewers (not) by making sure most contestants have a celebrity relative/lover/mate.

Or at the very least have a plastic surgeon in common with someone famous.

There’s Tommy Fury, 20, who doesn’t like to mention the fact he’s related to a world famous heavyweight boxer.

So furious does he get about it (see what I did there?) he manages to weave the word “Tyson” into practically every sentence.

Then we have Curtis Pritchard, 23, who appears to wear more make-up than the women and enjoys ballroom.

His brother is Strictly’s AJ Pritchard and confesses his last girlfriend was his dance partner.

But think you may have figured that one out yourself.

The beautiful beauty therapist Amber Gill, 21, is mates with ex-Islanders Adam Collard and Ellie Brown, while surfer and model Lucie Donlan, 21, had a romance with 2018 contestant Charlie Frederick.

So despite producers’ protestations otherwise all the utterly gorgeous creatures in this series are basically clones of every previous series.

And hallelujah to that.

Lucie from Love Island

BORED: Lucie says she’s never had a boyfriend more than six months because she gets “bored” (Pic: GETTY)

Because all the garbage about having “ordinary” looking folk would have meant one thing and one thing only – viewers switching off.

Telly can pretend to care about fat and ugly shaming all it likes but the truth is we all want to escape to the sun and gaze on young, taut flesh having fun.

If I want to look at a grey, haggard creature with saggy bits I’ll look in the mirror, ta.

Plus there’s nothing like a nightly fix of bikini babes flaunting toned tummies and firm thighs to make you step away from the fridge.

Final word to Island newbie, cute chef Sherif Lanre, 20, though: “I don’t really like girls who love being in the spotlight,” he says nervously.

Bless, and he probably thinks “melt” is something to do with cheese.


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