Friendship with my mate has become so toxic that I have stopped all contact

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DEAR DEIDRE: MY friendship with my mate has become so toxic I have stopped all contact.

I am a guy of 34, he’s 40. We met when we worked for the same company. His dad died last year and he was devastated.

My friendship with my mate has become so toxic, I have stopped contact with him
Alamy

I promised to be there whenever he wanted to talk but he started to expect me to drop everything and be there at all times of the day and sometimes night. If I don’t respond he sends really abusive messages.

I had it out with him and he exploded, said I owed him big time for all he’d done for me. I pulled back from the friendship but our other mates all keep asking me to contact him as he’s so cut up.

I know he’s treated others the same in the past.


DEIDRE SAYS: You tried to be a good friend but his neediness makes him unpleasantly manipulative.

Grief often needs the type of support a mate can’t give. Pass word for him to contact Cruse bereavement care (cruse.org.uk, 0808 808 1677).

His loss didn’t excuse his demands. You did right to pull away. You do not have to defend your decision but my e-leaflet Standing Up For Yourself will help.


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