Hilarious punter reviews of Brit sex workers exposed – 'She was a clockwatcher – 3/10'

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Blokes share how they’ve been accused of theft, had escorts take calls from their mum, and felt short-changed when they climaxed 20 minutes into an hour-long session.

Review sites UKPunting and PunterNet, dubbed TripAdvisor for sex workers, give punters the opportunity to share their x-rated experiences.

For instance, there were a staggering 23 reviews for Boston alone, Lincolnshire Live reports.

Reviewer Jay.Bee described a romp with “Chantelle” as “hostile”, complaining she moved things on too quickly.

Sex worker

ROMPS REVIEWED: Sex workers are accused of getting things going ‘too quickly’ (Pic: GETTY STOCK)

“I went to check on my phone and I had only been in the room 12 minutes”

Disappointed punter

The punter, who paid £60 for an “all in” service, moaned: “The atmosphere was verging on hostile.

“The constant pressure and clock watching totally killed the mood. I went to check on my phone and I had only been in the room 12 minutes.”

In fact, the self-confessed sex worker connoisseur finished by slamming the experience as the “worst punt of my 20+ years”.

But another reviewer said the same venue was ”safe, decent, clean and friendly” and suggested one prostitute was simply too good to stay in Lincolnshire.

Describing “banter” with a sex worker called “Paris”, he said: “I think the other reviewer got unlucky or something.

“Paris is a bit special dunno how long she’ll stick around for.”

Sex worker standing in doorway

MIXED FEEDBACK: Some punters said premises were ‘clean’ but others had ‘hostile’ experiences (Pic: GETTY STOCK)

Meanwhile in Grantham, a bloke spent £100 for an hour with “Kim” but was disappointed when he finished after 20 minutes — and she clocked off.

After a romp in a car in a cul-de-sac that allegedly wasn’t discrete, the punter said she vanished, with another sex worker informing him that she was on the phone to her mum.

“Lexi” in Gainsborough garnered a positive response from a pleased punter who described her as “ready for action”.

They said: “Lexi greeted me at the door with a sexy smile and dressed ready for action, she took me upstairs to the bedroom and offered the bathroom should I want to freshen up.”

“If you are looking for a young lady that seems to be very experienced for her age, then Lexi is the lady for you,” they added.

In the city of Lincoln, an establishment is described as having a central location.

Sex worker standing by a car

AWKWARD: One reviewer moaned that the cul-de-sac where the romp took place was not ‘discrete’ (Pic: GETTY STOCK)

Jaba192 said they found themselves in a “very nicely done and very clean” room and had to fill out paperwork before having a romp with “Nina”.

“Nina is a real expert and well worth a visit,” they added. “Treat her well, she’s a star!”

But another punter at the same venue criticised “Amy”, dubbing her a “clock-watcher”.

They complain of feeling “rushed”, giving a condemning score of 3/10.

Meanwhile, a bizarre debacle in Spalding saw a punter accused of nicking his sex worker’s camera and then threatened with violence.

Woman with condom

‘READY FOR ACTION’: A sex worker called ‘Lexi’ received high praise (Pic: GETTY STOCK)

The bewildered bloke wrote: “Two days after my punt I got a very strange text message from her telling me to bring her camera back that I had supposedly stolen and that her boyfriend was going to beat her up if it wasn’t returned.

“I never stole anything and text her to tell her so. Later on I got another text saying it had been found in her house.

“Very strange ending. For this reason I wouldn’t go back.”

This comes after prostitute-booking app Smooci launched in London, with it described as “Tinder for hookers”.

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