I had incredible sex with one of my flatmates but now she’s being cold with me

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DEAR DEIDRE: I WAS amazed when one of my female flatmates came into my bedroom and got into bed with me. We spent a fantastic night together and our relationship quickly got pretty intense.

We share a place with four others — two guys and two girls — and we have all been friends for years.

My flatmate came into my room and we had torrid sex
Alamy

One night we all went to the pub then got a takeaway on the way home.

We had a few more drinks and after two hours I went to bed.

Five minutes later I heard my door open. It was one of the girls and she came and got into bed beside me. I am 21, she is 22 and really good-looking.

I had fancied her from the start so I started kissing her. We had sex and it was the best ever.

Our relationship quickly got intense
Alamy

We said we really liked each other and things developed fast. We started spending all our free time together and got on really well.

After two weeks I told her I was crazy about her and wanted us to be official. But then she started to back off. She said she wasn’t sure if she wanted a relationship with me and things have crawled along between us since then.

She has a big problem with jealousy. Even though we are not officially an item she got upset with me when she saw me talking to an ex-girlfriend a couple of weeks ago. There was nothing in it and this girl now has a baby with another guy.

Then we were at a party last week and I was just trying to get to the kitchen to get another can when suddenly a random girl grabbed me and kissed me.

But she’s now backed off – how can I win her back?
Alamy

My girlfriend saw and went mad. I told her I hadn’t given the other girl the come-on — but it made no difference.

Yesterday my girl told me she had been thinking about this ever since — and now she says she doesn’t want a relationship with me because I am too intense.

I am a mess. I cannot get over her. Is there any way I can win her back?

topic4today

AROUND 85,000 women are raped in England and Wales each year and the rapist is far more likely to be known to them than a stranger.

My e-leaflet Have You Been Raped? explains support.

Email problems@deardeidre.org or private message me on my Dear Deidre Facebook.


DEIDRE SAYS: You can try but do not build up your hopes too much. It is likely that her problem with jealousy is due to having been hurt in the past by someone she loved.

She says she is not ready to commit to you but she apparently wants you to behave as though you are committed to her. Ask yourself whether you really want to be in a relationship like that.

If you do still want to be with her, tell her how you feel about her and ask her to give things a chance between you.

Make it clear that you both need to be serious about each other, not just one of you about the other, and you will need to agree clear boundaries.

My e-leaflet Coping With Jealousy can help you both see a better way to handle your feelings.


NEXT IN TODAY’S DEAR DEIDRE I’m horrified after my wife confessed she had 80 lovers by the time she was 22

READ DEIDRE’S PHOTO CASEBOOK Perry is collared in his home by his pregnant lover but rebuffs her


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