DEAR DEIDRE: THE woman I’ve been seeing is very good-looking and can be fun but she makes me feel rubbish for most of the time.
She calls it banter but I feel she’s putting me down.
My girlfriend makes me feel rubbish for most of the time[/caption]
Whatever I say, she will reckon that I’m stupid and totally wrong. If I snap back, which I try not to do, she will say she was joking and then she will change and be sweetness and light.
Mostly I’m sure that the problem is her but I doubt myself sometimes and think that it’s me. I’m not the most confident sort.
We’re both 43 and I’ve tried to discuss this with her but she says it’s my fault and that I upset her.
This is making me ill. Should I leave her before I go mad?
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DEIDRE SAYS: If she makes you feel rubbish then what makes you stay? It does sound like both of you lack self-esteem.
It makes her feel better to criticise you but tit-for-tat is a miserable way to run a relationship.
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You don’t need to convince her that you’re in the right. You don’t need her permission to end it, politely, and just walk away.
My e-leaflet Raising Self-esteem will help you decide what’s right for you.
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