DEAR DEIDRE: ALTHOUGH we only got married at the start of this year, our sex life is rubbish. It has gone from every day to every few weeks.
I am 29, my husband is 34 . When we got together three years ago our sex life was good. Now he always wants me to give him oral sex but refuses to give me oral, which I love.
He lost his job in the new year and it’s taken him virtually six months to find another. He’s happier now but he’s still drinking half a bottle of rum every night so he’s usually too far gone for sex.
He says I knew he was a drinker when we met and not to try to change him.
If I say I’m frustrated he says, “You play, I’ll watch,” which makes me really upset.
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DEIDRE SAYS: The alcohol is the real issue here.
Pick a sober moment and say you need a serious talk. Point out your sex life has fallen off a cliff and is now all about you pleasing him with no satisfaction in it for you.
Be clear you’re worried your marriage won’t last much longer like this – which it won’t. Insist he cut his drinking right down for the sake of his health as well as his sexual performance.
To start with he needs to abstain completely for at least three months. My e-leaflet Reviving A Man’s Sex Drive can help you both.
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