“WHAT a bloomin’ shower,” storms Monarch. “Today’s politicians are useless,” Queen tells aides. Shock! Horror!
Not for the first time, and without saying a word in public, Her Majesty the Queen is speaking for the nation.
The dismal decline in our political class did not begin with Brexit in 2016. It started years earlier, as successive governments caved in to easy options and the abdication of leadership.
Soft on crime, soft on the causes of crime. Open doors to mass immigration. Let kids rule in the classroom. Human rights, not human responsibilities.
For millions of voters, the fault line ran from Westminster to Brussels, with the relentless surrender of power by our elected MPs to the faceless commissars of the European Union.
The Queen was watching all this like the rest of us. She cannot speak for herself and it would be wrong to put words in her mouth.
But it is worth recalling The Sun’s well-sourced and subsequently confirmed exclusive under this hotly disputed headline, “Queen Backs Brexit”.
This was not just a true story, it was a no-brainer, the authentic response of a British sovereign who has seen this sovereignty steadily leached away to a land trying to call itself “Europe”.
Her Majesty was also appalled when our so-called leaders, the morally superior metropolitan elite, were caught short by the 2008 financial crash.
“Did nobody see it coming?” wondered this shrewd woman who, after 67 years as QE2, has seen it all.
David Cameron is unlikely to rate highly after abandoning a rudderless nation at a moment of crisis
The Queen has her own way of expressing a view. Last year she ditched the BBC — after a film was edited to make her look grumpy — and delivered her Christmas message on ITV.
She urged people with “deeply held differences” to respect each other’s views.
The BBC and others pounced on this as a rebuke to Brexiteers but her remarks applied equally to rancorous Remainers.
A skilled mimic who enjoys lampooning politicians, the Queen will have her own views on the individuals who have kissed hands at the Palace.
David Cameron is unlikely to rate highly after abandoning a rudderless nation at a moment of crisis.
Indeed, this was the moment she voiced alarm at modern politicians’ “inability to govern”.
Despite their shared Christian faith, Her Majesty probably understands public dismay over Theresa May’s shocking failure to get a grip. As for her view of Jezza and his Marxist mates, the mind boggles.
Too many modern politicians ‘spineless’
So if we join the dots, can we guess what the Monarch makes of Boris Johnson?
The jury is out, of course, but I suspect he might already be up for a Royal Warrant of approval.
It is likely the Queen was against a referendum. But once the people had spoken, she would surely expect to see their verdict upheld.
She must be appalled by the way this civil war has split her nation asunder and will want Brexit sorted ASAP.
On that assumption, I would guess she and Prince Philip — “my strength and my stay” — are impressed by the way Downing Street is finally buckling down.
There will be a warm welcome at the Palace for the crackdown on crime — especially the knife bloodbath destroying the lives of her young subjects.
I may be assuming too much, but it is hard to imagine she has serious objections to the spending on prisons, police and the NHS.
As for the most toxic issue of all, the Queen will be adamantly opposed to any border down the Irish Sea separating Northern Ireland from the rest of her United Kingdom.
Witnessing the Privy Council in action, Her Majesty might agree with the opinion expressed by one of her ministers that too many modern politicians are “spineless”.
Farage's Brexit Party Dementors
ANYONE worrying Britain will blink before a Halloween Brexit should worry no more.
Downing Street is on a non-military war footing. It cannot back down now without committing political suicide.
Remainers can seethe and plot all they like. But they can’t stop Britain leaving the EU for ever on October 31 for one very good reason: Nigel Farage’s Brexit Party Dementors.
As Harry Potter’s Prof Remus Lupin warns: “Dementors glory in decay and despair.
A Dementor will feed on you long enough that you will be left with nothing but the worst experiences.”
That’s the fate awaiting the Tories if Boris surrenders to the bullies of Brussels.
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At 93, and having lived through World War Two and a few other crises, the Queen will keep calm and carry on, confident that her country can survive a No Deal Brexit and prosper once it is done.
And as a monarch who rated wartime leader Sir Winston Churchill as her favourite PM, Her Majesty might think his biographer Boris Johnson is doing pretty well for a beginner.
Not for publication, of course.