Woman writes hilarious message to couple who had 'noisy' sex outside her house

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Allegedly, the 4.30am incident in Plymouth involved not just one session of “the birds and the bees” but two, completely changing the meaning of the Dawn Chorus.

The home-owner also claimed the woman involved in the tryst made so much noise she woke her dog “from a deep sleep”.

She then warned she had a “good description” of the woman in question, should she decide to get her rocks off in the neighbourhood again.

In a hilarious note posted to a gossip page, she wrote: “0430 this morning, I was rudely woken by a man and woman having sex outside my house!

“I also had great delight in lighting up my driveway and popping out to ask if they we’re finishing anytime soon so I could get back to sleep”

Irate woman

“They were very noisy about it, (even woke my dog from a deep sleep), she, a lot more than him, and the neighbours and I all know she had a ‘good time’…twice.”

Directly addressing the noisy woman, she added: “Anyway, if you were that woman (and I have a good description if you need reminding) please keep the noise down next time you think about having sex in a residential street!”

She also revealed that the woman in question had very impressive projection.

“For some context on the noise, the room I was in is at least 10 metres from where they were and there’s tree and bushes in between and I still heard everything!”

The romping couple then reportedly got an abrupt disturbance of their own.

She added: “I also had great delight in lighting up my driveway and popping out to ask if they we’re finishing anytime soon so I could get back to sleep.”

The woman had shared the post on Facebook group “Plymouth Gossip Girls”, where it generated a lot of bemused feedback.

This comes after a woman coped with last week’s heatwave by casually walking down a street completely naked.

And a couple were snapped apparently in the middle of an oral sex session on Brighton Beach.

Meanwhile, Redditors have shared their top tips on how to have sex in public without getting caught.

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